Data shows that brevity is the strongest predictor of a reply. Keeping your email body under 50 words can boost your response rates by up to 40%. Conversely, once a message exceeds 100 words, response rates begin a steep decline.
Tip: The Mobile Test: Most prospects read messages on a mobile device. Before saving a Template, use the Preview button in Salesloft. If you can’t see your Call to Action (CTA) on the phone screen without scrolling, cut at least 20 words.
Workshop: Trim the Fat
Apply these three steps to audit and shrink your current templates.
1. Delete the "I Hope" Intro Remove filler greetings like "I hope you’re having a great week" or "I’m writing to you because..."
- Try it: Delete your first sentence. If the email still makes sense, leave it out.
2. The One-Idea Rule If you are explaining two different features or solving two different problems, delete one.
- Try it: Identify every "and" in your email. If it connects two separate value propositions, pick the strongest one and cut the rest.
3. The Three-Sentence Challenge Rewrite your message using only three functional sentences:
- The Hook: Why them?
- The Value: Why now?
- The Ask: What's next?
Before & After: The 50-Word Edit
The "Standard" Draft (85 Words)
Hi Sarah, I hope your week is off to a great start. I am reaching out because I saw your post about expanding your engineering team in Q3. We help companies like yours scale faster by providing a specialized talent pipeline that reduces hiring time by 20%. I’d love to hop on a 15-minute call to introduce myself and see if our platform might be a good fit for your current goals. Do you have any time this Thursday afternoon to connect?
The "Under 50" Edit (38 Words)
Sarah — saw your post about the Q3 engineering head-count goals.
We recently helped [Competitor] reduce their hiring time by 20% using a specialized pipeline. Worth a brief look to see if we can do the same for you?
Best Practice Checklist
- [ ] Word Count: Is the body text under 50 words?
- [ ] The Mobile Test: Does the entire message fit on one phone screen without scrolling?
- [ ] The One-Idea Check: Is there only one clear value prop and one question?
- [ ] Filler Check: Did I remove all introductory "fluff"?
Ready to boost your replies?
Check out the Salesloft Template Guide to start shortening your messages.
We want to hear from you: Have you successfully trimmed a "long-winded" template lately? Share your best tips for condensing email content in the comments below!